Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
