we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
