on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
