how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
