You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
