everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
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