Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
