Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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