come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
