we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
