Cold hands, warm shart.
Dual....:-)
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
