Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
