So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
