I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
