you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
