Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
