You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
