Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
