so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
