Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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