I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Randomize
