we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
