Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
