I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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