seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
