is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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