Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
