Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
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