Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Less talking, more tequila
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
