Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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