Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
