Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
