on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
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