Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
