i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
