Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
