I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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