I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
