apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
