I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
