I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
