Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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