The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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