She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
