Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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