I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
