you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
