Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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