hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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