I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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